Don't bother using online dating
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A Bloke

Are Online Dating Apps A Waste Of Time For Men

The short answer is, for most men, dating apps are going to be time-consuming, expensive and probably a complete waste of time.

After I got divorced, I thought that dating apps were going to be the answer to all my dating needs. I’d take a few pictures and write a bit about myself, and the dates would come flooding in. How wrong I was!

Inactive Profiles

When I was on dating apps, there seemed to be a lot of inactive profiles. You can’t tell this on all the dating apps, but on some, like it shows when the person was last active. I saw many profiles with no activity status on them, which means the last time the person was active was over a month ago.

I think that many women leave the platform (because they’ve found love ❤ or some other reason) but forget to suspend \cancel their account. This means that you can send ‘likes’ and messages, but you’re just wasting your time as there’s no one at the other end.

The dating app companies leave these inactive profiles for a considerable time before cleaning them up, as it makes them look as though they have more profiles.

Bestseller No. 1
Online Dating For Dummies
Online Dating For Dummies
Silverstein, MD Judith (Author); English (Publication Language); 316 Pages – 11/07/2003 (Publication Date) – John Wiley & Sons (Publisher)
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Imbalance Of Men And Women

I’m not sure about the exact numbers, but I do know there are many more men on dating apps than women. How do I know this? because I’ve spoken to my female friends, and they see way more male profiles than I see female profiles and I mean way way more. 

Women Get A Lot More ‘Likes’

Partly because of the imbalance mentioned above and also because men are much more generous with ‘Likes’, women get to pick the cream of the crop. So, unless you’re a super hot guy with bucket loads of cash, you are unlikely to get noticed by the ‘best’ women.

One of my female friends had literally hundreds of ‘Likes’. I was lucky to get 10 ‘Likes’ a month. 

Getting ‘Matches’ Is Rare

Getting likes is hard enough, but of those women who have liked you, how many of them do you like enough to ‘Match’ with? I can tell you the answer is very few. 

Many of the ‘Likes’ I had were from women who lived miles away from me, it simply wouldn’t be practical to date them. I don’t know why women ‘Like’ you when they live hundreds of miles away……strange.

Of those women who do live locally and ‘Like’ you, there will be very few who you find attractive and also think might be compatible with you from the information they provide in their profile.

I found getting a genuine ‘Match’ was extremely rare; I could go months without having a match!

A ‘Match’ does not mean a guaranteed date

Getting a ‘Match’ is great, but there is still a long way to go before you get a date.

I found women I matched with often didn’t reply to my messages or replied a few times and then just dropped off the grid.

Never Ending Messaging 

You’ve got a ‘Match’ and have started a chat conversation, and it goes on and on and on. The majority of women I matched with seemed to love messaging. I do not, I find it slow, and you can’t get to know the person. 

I would try to persuade my ‘match’ to meet up in real life or have a phone conversation, but often they just weren’t that interested and wanted to continue messaging ‘a bit more’!

First Contact In Real Life

If you manage to get to the stage of planning a first meet-up in real life, well done, but you still have a way to go.

I had one woman who didn’t turn up and didn’t have the courtesy to message me and say she was pulling out. When I messaged her to ask where she was, I found she had blocked me……nice!

On several occasions, the women didn’t look like their profile pictures or were considerably older than they said they were. This made things a bit awkward, as personally, I wouldn’t date a woman I didn’t find physically attractive. Call me shallow, but that’s just the way it is.

First Date

How much time and effort has it taken to get to your first date using a dating app? Probably a lot more time and effort than you were expecting.

None of the dates I went on led to anything long-term and were just short-term fun, which was fine for me as I wasn’t looking for a long-term relationship at the time.


Everything I’ve talked about above is based on my own experiences and you may find that dating apps work for you, or you may just get lucky. But all of my male friends who have used dating apps have had a very similar experience to my own.

I can’t see myself using a dating app ever again.


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